A Tourist Guide to Discworld

[Lady Margolotta von Überwald]

What you need to know about...


The Discworld

The Discworld consists of a large disc, resting on the backs of four huge elephants which are in turn standing on the back of an enormous turtle, named Great A'Tuin, as it slowly swims through space.

Cori Celesti, a great, 10-mile-high spire of rock lies at exact centre of the Disc and is the point of origin for its standing magical field. Cori Celesti is home of Discworld gods. The area including Cori Celesti is known as The Hub, a land of high, icebound mountains. The edge of the Disc is called The Rim. The areas closer to the Rim are warmer and tropical, since the Disc's sun passes closer to them in its orbit. At the Rim, a great, encircling waterfall (the Rimfall) sends the Disc's oceans cascading into space.

Directions within the Discworld are not given as North, South, East and West, but rather as directions relating to the disc itself: Hubward (towards the centre), Rimward (away from the centre) and to a lesser extent, turnwise and widdershins (respectively, with and against the direction of the Disc's spin).

The Death

The Death, Discworld's anthropomorphic personification of death, is a tall black-robed skeleton, who carries a scythe and speaks LIKE THIS. He is not invisible; however, most people's brains refuse to acknowledge him for who he is, unless he insists. Under normal circumstances, only those of a magical disposition (e.g. witches and wizards), children, and cats can see him, or allow themselves to see him.

Magic

Magic is the principal force on the Discworld. The act of performing magic is, essentially, telling the universe what you want it to be like, in terms it can't ignore. This is very draining to magic-users, due to Discworld science's Law of Conservation of Reality (which states it takes the same effort to do something with magic as it would to do it mundanely). This is why most Discworld wizards store magic in a staff (with a knob on the end) which is a sort of capacitor for magical energy. Another important thing about magic is to learn when not to use it. Just because one can do everything with magic doesn't mean that one should.

The basic unit of Discworld magic is the thaum, equal to the amount of mystical energy required to conjure up one small white pigeon, or three normal-sized billiard balls. Magic can be measured with a thaumometer, which is described as a black cube with a dial on one side. A standard thaumometer is good for up to a million thaums, beyond that level, Discworld reality starts to break down.

Power of the Story

The basic composition of the Disc is determined by what it is ultimately meant to be. This primary element, out of which all others spring, is known as narrativium, the elemental substance of Story. Nothing on the Disc can exist without a Story first existing to mold its destiny and determine its form. On the Disc, if a story or legend is told often enough and believed by enough people, it becomes true. This is known in in-universe physics as the law of narrative causality.

The law of narrative causality means that a story, once started, takes a shape and picks up all the vibrations of the previous versions of the same story. That is why history keeps repeating itself. So, thousands of wolves have eaten grandmother, thousand princesses have been kissed, and it is impossible for the third and the youngest son of a king not to succeed on a quest which has claimed his older brothers.

Ankh-Morpork

Ankh-Morpork lies on the River Ankh (the most polluted waterway on the Discworld and reputedly solid enough to walk on), where the fertile loam of the Sto Plains meets the Circle Sea. This, naturally, puts it in an excellent trading position. The mercantile and political capital of the Disc; everybody sooner or later end up in Ankh-Morpork.

The city is divided by the river Ankh into the affluent Ankh, residential part of the city, with several mansions and parks, and the poorer Morpork which includes the slum-like Shades, but also Unseen University, most of guilds and Patrician's Palace. Ankh-Morpork is populated by different species, from all over the Disc, including dwarfs, trolls, gargoyles, gnomes, werewolves, vampires, golems... and people, of course.

Ankh-Morpork is ruled by Patrician, currently lord Havelock Vetinari. The Patrician rules the city, and operates a specialised form of "One Man, One Vote" democracy: the Patrician is the Man, and he has the Vote. The city used to be a corrupt, crumbling city, was gradually turned around, first with an overhaul of the Guild system - such as legalising the Guild of Thieves and leaving them responsible for stopping 'unlicensed' thefts - and then by opening the city to immigration. He has arranged the politics of the city in such a way that to remove him from office would cause chaos among the Guilds and nobility. Should any situation which requires immediate attention develop, the Guild leaders, nobles and various other important city dignitaries hold an emergency council meeting, which usually consists of them bickering at each other. The Patrician has arranged the politics of the city in such a way that to remove him from office would cause chaos among the Guilds and nobility. He firmly believes that what people really want is stability, and that is what he provides.

There is relatively little crime in Ankh-Morpork since much of it is legalized and handled by the guilds. It's up to the guilds themselves to keep criminality at a reasonable level. The Ankh-Morpork City Watch, resurrected practically only in the last few years, takes care of crimes out of the jurisdiction or sight of the Guilds, ranging from sporadic unlicensed burglaries and thefts, to major crimes or conspiracies (such as attempted assassinations of the Patrician) against the city.

This is a quick guide for those who aren't familiar with the series.
For more information click Me or Me or Me